Many men consider divorce an ending; however, it can also signify the advent of a wondrous new life. Finding this new life, however, incorporates a learning curve. Consider the learning curve an opportunity to expand, grow and regain your individual identity, but tread slowly through this period to attain a fulfilling life after signing divorce papers.
Assign yourself these five projects, and experience growing contentment with each project’s completion.
Whether or not you initiated the dissolution, divorce signifies a loss. Moving beyond loss requires a grieving period that includes feelings of abandonment, anger, guilt and shame, and these feelings remain in your life unless you allow yourself to mourn. People cope with grief in myriad ways. Find whichever coping mechanism works best for you, and allow yourself to experience mourning. Finally, let yourself recover.
Recover before entering a new romantic relationship. Although natural, grief’s emotions may lead to behavior, choices and decisions unusual for you and later regretted. Additionally, carrying such negative emotions harms new romances and hides your true self.
People frequently become wrapped up in being part of a couple and lose portions of themselves; usually, the man signing divorce papers differs drastically from the man who signed the marriage license. Explore the slow, subtle changes you have undergone during the marriage. Examine your current likes, dislikes, beliefs and dreams, and learn how you have changed. Rediscovering your independent, individual self often leads to pleasant surprises.
Take Care of Yourself
Sometimes, men respond to life after divorce by initiating a nutrition and exercise program. Go for it, but do it for you and not to impress women. Likely, you will not maintain a proper program if you start it for anyone else. Doing this for you combats post-divorce depression and provides long-term effects of bolstered self-esteem and confidence. You will look and feel better knowing your exertions are for a worthy person – you.
Married or single, some people set aside special interests or hobbies for some future day. Why not today? Whether your long-delayed interest involves motorcycles, model trains, ballroom dancing or raising quail, take up that hobby you put aside. Indulging in an abandoned interest provides you with an activity to focus on and talk about unrelated to the divorce; also, it offers the opportunity to meet new people.
Get Over Your Ex
Letting go refers to more than romantic feelings. Feelings of love may still linger and may never disappear completely, but divorces typically generate anger, bitterness and fear. The comfort of the known, regardless of unhappiness, may have you clinging to the status quo. Determining and assigning blame enter the stage. Surprisingly, these exist even if you desired the divorce. Let go and do not permit these emotions to dominate your life.
Recovery after signing divorce papers is a day-by-day process, but the process provides an opportunity to learn, grow and enjoy life on your terms.